deviant art

Deviant Login Shop  Join deviantART for FREE Take the Tour
[x]
Download File
TXT, 373 bytes
more ▶

More from ~winstonmontag1951

Featured in Groups:

Details

February 22
373 bytes
Link
Thumb

Statistics

Comments: 4
Favourites: 2 [who?]

Views: 16 (0 today)
Downloads: 0 (0 today)
[x]
Arms reaching out,
Straining
To receive the rain's cool kiss,
And to grasp the vigor
That the Giving Star bestows--
But not in greed or selfishness do the arms stretch:
Each brings Life to a gnarled, weary,
Grateful soul.
:iconwinstonmontag1951:
This one is very short, but I find it emotive and I like it a lot.
Add a Comment:
 
love 1 1 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconathenasbitch:
Mood: Love ~athenasbitch Feb 26, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Ea of the Sumerian/Babylonian pantheon, yes? words of each line chosen well and worth their weight until the last two lines. I found the 3 adjectives modifying soul too much. if you wanted to, you could probably, given the imagery of the previous lines, use gnarled and grateful or gnarled by itself. sometimes, as they say, less is more. all in all, a beautiful little poem.:)
Reply
:iconwinstonmontag1951:
~winstonmontag1951 Feb 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
It's actually a reference to the Tolkien universe, but very astute guess! Thank you for your critique and for your comment :)
Reply
:iconpalesile:
~palesile Feb 23, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
EA Games.... Challenge Everything

Little joke, lol I'm kidding of course. This poem is actually really lovely. Even though it's short your diction created powerful imagery. Very very nice :)
Reply
:iconwinstonmontag1951:
~winstonmontag1951 Feb 25, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Haha nice one. Unfortunately I wasn't able to format that title the way I wanted it--originally there was an umlaut over the "a."
Thank you so much for your critique, it was articulate and very sweet of you to say! :)
Reply
Add a Comment: